I think I’ve really only taken three in my entire life.

Pathetic.

A new risk was added a few weeks ago.  In the time I’ve had to reflect, I can honestly say that I’m both surprised and glad that I took the risk.  

Years ago I would have dismissed the idea before even considering it.

Thankfully, things can change for someone like me.

And you, too.

A friend of mine, who I’m connected with at work, shared a great story with me just over a year ago.  He is very involved with youth ministry, and one example is a camp in Northern Arizona for kids with disabilities.  He told me the story of a boy who was severely handicapped, and how one part of the camp allowed for these kids to participate in a special ropes course, with a zip-line  at the end.  These guys and girls can participate in this course without the reminder of the disability that so often holds them back from “normal” activities.

The course started out with a series of platforms that you had to step off of and make your way to the next one via the ropes.  Before stepping off of the platform, this young man would freeze with fear.  You know – legs shaking, teeth chattering, the works.  The leaders would ask him, “do you want to come down?”  ”You don’t have to go any farther than you want.”  Eventually, he would take the step off the platform and make his way to the next, only to be overcome by fear again.  The leaders asked the same questions every time, and after about an hour the young man made his way to the end of the course.

My friend said that he asked the boy, “why didn’t you just come down when you got scared?”

He answered, “It was only fear, that’s all.”

That’s how I want to see the risks that God asks me to take.  Is it scary?  Sure it is.  If it’s not scary you’re either not paying attention or dead.  That’s why they call it a risk and not “safe”.  But, you and I must remember that it’s only fear that’s holding us back.  That’s crippling us. 

Sometimes we can’t shake it.  We’re frozen.  There’s seemingly no way out.  But, if we look at God for who he really is and not what we’ve made him, we’ll see an awesome and powerful God who is for us…not against us.  What can fear do to us when we know this?  Nothing.  It can only be fear.  Nothing more, nothing less. 

He’s already overcome it. 

Trusting that he did?  Now that’s a risk right there…

This is especially true in our American culture, I think.

And I’m not just talking about singing, for it’s most certainly not the only way to worship.

The problem, in my opinion, is this:

A lot of us have an extremely low view of God.

If this view of him can change, I believe everything will change. 

Everything.

Do you ever get like me and judge God?  Now, I’m not talking about asking questions to God.  He’s not so small that he can’t handle our questions.  But, do you ever judge him?  Do you ever find yourself asking (like me), “God- why don’t you do anything about things in this world?  How come people are dying from not having clean water?  What about AIDS?  What about Haiti?  The homeless?  Won’t you do anything?  You have the power for crying out loud!  You could make this all go away….if you really wanted to.”

If you are like me and ask those things, you probably also (like me) forget that it will be us standing before God one day, not the other way around, and he’ll ask us why we didn’t do anything about it, and that he gave us his Holy Spirit to have the power through him. 

Ouch.  That’s a painful perspective for me to get. 

It’s almost like I somehow create this image of God being created for me, when in reality it’s that I was made for him.  Do you get this way sometimes as well? 

Or how about the times that I resign to the fact that my issues (or the world’s) are too great for God to overcome.  Sure, I never vocalize it that way, but my life would indicate to others that it was what I believe.  That attitude bears a certain fruit, and it’s not one of hope. 

I’ve reduced him to a cross on a chain, a sticker on a car, a Bible never opened.  This must change.

I need to remember just how huge God is, and therefore place him where he rightfully belongs in my life – first.  I’m reminded of Psalm 33 today, verses 6-7. 

By the word of the Lord where the heavens made, their starry hosts by the breath of his mouth.  He gathers the waters of the sea into jars; he puts the deep into storehouses.

Our Father creates entire galaxies with merely his words.  Try to wrap your mind around that one for a bit. 

I’m also reminded of Ezekiel seeing God.  Look how he attempts to wrestle with the right human words to describe a holy God.  (Ezekiel 1:26-28)

Above the expanse over their heads was what looked like a throne of sapphire, and high above on the throne was a figure like that of a man.  I saw that from what appeared to be his waist up he looked like glowing metal, as if full of fire, and that from there down he looked like fire; and brilliant light surrounded him.  Like the appearance of a rainbow in the clouds on a rainy day, so was the radiance around him.  This was the appearance of the likeness of the glory of the Lord.  When I saw it, I fell facedown, and I heard the voice of one speaking.

I love the section of the book of Job (starting in chapter 38) where God begins to remind Job of just how big he is.  God asks in verse 12 of that chapter:

 ”Have you ever given orders to the morning, or shown the dawn its place, that it might take the earth by the edges and shake the wicked out of it?” 

Simply amazing.  Could you imagine God asking you these questions?  What would you say?  What if you saw him like Ezekiel did?  What would you do? 

I think you and I would hit the ground like Ezekiel, hoping that we didn’t have a heart attack.  Questions would not matter at that moment, I can guarantee you. 

God is huge.  His glory is far beyond any words we could imagine saying.  He was not created for you and I.  We were created for him.  When we have this kind of view of God, I believe things start changing. 

Have you ever just stood in awe of God?  Ecclesiastes 5:1-2 says to…

Guard your steps when you go to the house of God.  Go near to listen rather than to offer the sacrifice of fools, who do not know that they do wrong.  Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God.  God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few.

Take a moment today to simply be quiet.  No prayers, apologies, vows, nothing.  Let your words be few and be silent before him.  He’s in heaven and we’re down here.  He’s magnificent and we’re his creation.  He values us over anything he’s made. 

Anything.

Think on these things.  Spend time today thinking of God in this way.  Sing to him in this way this weekend when you gather for corporate worship with your church or fellowship of believers.  Surrender your stresses, marriages, fear, pride to this God who is always able to overcome.  He’s not intimidated by our circumstances. 

Having a high view of God will change the way you and I worship.  I believe that with all that I have, which is nothing in comparison to him.

This is a picture of my mind lately…

I have to be honest, here – I used to watch “professional” wrestling quite religiously.  The horrible acting, the ridiculous speeches, the leg drops off the top turnbuckle.  I couldn’t get enough of it, knowing full well the whole time that in no way was it realistic.

It was scripted, rehearsed and over-dramatized.

Enter my life, stage left.

I’ve been wrestling with myself and God about a few things lately, and it has left me exhausted.

Anyone relate?

A lot is going on in the old noggin’ lately.  It’s mostly good, though.  A pretty cool door is potentially opening, which is both exciting, risky and stressful.

I have an opportunity to record an EP in Nashville, with Jeremy Casella producing.  I’ve been asked for a while about whether or not I would ever record any of my music, but I honestly didn’t have the confidence in myself to even dream it possible.  It’s amazing what the words of someone outside of your family and friends can do.

I could, quite possibly, be recording the EP (probably six of my songs) in Nashville sometime in the near future.  This has been an increasing desire of mine within the last couple of years, as well as something that folks have asked me for.  I really feel like it’s both the right time to put forth some effort in this area of ministry and perhaps an opportunity of a lifetime.

But doubt creeps in.

Always.

I think about other better ways to spend the money.
I think about how no one will probably want to listen to it.
I think about how I shouldn’t even call myself a musician.
But I’m passionate about it.
But I know that God has gifted me.
I know that He’s stirred a desire in me.
Then I think about how no one will probably listen to it.
That I’ll have a box full of cd’s in my house to remind me of a failure.

It goes on and on.   I’m sure you know the drill.  That is, if you’re anything like myself.

Life.

Not scripted or rehearsed or fake.

This wrestling is real, and it’s taking a toll on me these days.

How about you?  What are you wrestling with lately?

Let me first begin by saying that I will be preaching to myself in this post.

We all have passions.  We all have gifts and abilities.  More often that not, these talents directly align with our passions.  Funny how that works…

I’m passionate about music, especially writing it.  I love the creative process of a song coming to life from a simple thought.  While I’m clearly not the best at writing music, I have found that I enjoy it, and the songs themselves don’t sound horrible.  Of course, I’m a little biased when it comes to that.

I’m also passionate about helping the least of these- particularly concerning the issues of human trafficking and extreme poverty.  You can read some earlier posts on these issues by starting at the beginning of this fairly young blog.

I’ve been fortunate to play some of my music in order to raise awareness for the human trafficking problem in Phoenix, which is a much larger problem than people think.  This has caused me to think a lot about how I can use what I’m gifted at to help with the issues that I’m passionate about.  It would make sense to use my gifts that way.

It’s probably the reason I was given the gift in the first place.

You have gifts and passions.  All of you.  And because of that, you all have the potential to be a part of God’s much larger story of redemption on this little planet we live on.  Of course that also means that we get to live a better story as well.

We’re called to.

If you’re afraid to put yourself out there because of fear, I want to encourage you to take that step.  There is much more at stake here than our feelings.  Remember, we’ve been given these talents to use them, not bury them in the ground.

So, I ask you (and me) : What’s your passion?

And, more importantly, what are you (we) doing to invest in them?

Our talents are just as valuable as a million bucks. Sure, if you’ve been blessed with a lot of money, give away.  But, if you’re not a millionaire, give of yourself.  You’re worth more than you’ll ever think.

Folks,we must do something.  There isn’t a lack of need in this world.

We need only to look around.

*NOTE*  Some of you who read this blog are doing some amazing things for the Kingdom of God.  I’d love for you to share what you’re doing as well.  Perhaps there are those that are unaware and would like to partner with you.  Plug away shamelessly in the comments.

image: sam

I need to be honest here…

I hate to wait.

And wouldn’t you know it…God doesn’t.  He is patient and long-suffering.  Slow to anger, even.

Yet somehow I feel like I’m entitled to get answers now from him.  I have so much to learn.

He feels pretty silent these days.  My prayers feel like they bounce off some sort of invisible ceiling lately.  I’ve begun to consider the possibility that my prayer life is not to consist of simply asking him for things.  Rather, I should spend time with him.  I should get to know him more. So, off to his very words I’ve gone.

Luckily, I’m not at a loss for places in scripture where God seemed silent.  I immediately think of Job.  I also go right to David as well.  The Psalms are chocked full of David’s desperate cries to God.

Psalm 13 is one of my favorites, full of such honesty and desperation.  I thought it was a fitting text to meditate on and share during this time of silence.  Take the time to chew on it for a bit.

How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I take counsel in my soul
and have sorrow in my heart all the day?
How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?
Consider and answer me, O LORD my God;
light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death,
lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him,”
lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.
But I have trusted in your steadfast love;
my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
I will sing to the LORD, because he has dealt bountifully with me.

His love is to be trusted.  Salvation is his.  He’s been so good, even in the silence.  A part of my heart is changing, not just stirring, and part of that change has been in the silence.

Maybe you’re not feeling him lately.  It could be a time to let things die in order for restoration, perhaps.  I do know that we all need patience.  I can’t get over how patient he’s been with me, after I’ve blown it time and time (and time) again.

I want to have patience.  I want to trust him.  He’s been good to me.

So I will wait.

• Here’s to Death: Lent (part one)
• Here’s to Death: Lent (part two)
• Take Time to Stop: Lent (part three)
• Gaining Wisdom: Lent (part four)
• A Break in the Clouds: Lent (part five)
• Be Thawed & Rejoice: Lent (part six)

Ok, back to today…

You know, sometimes Friday’s quote doesn’t seem believable to me.  Sometimes there’s
only one deafening sound from God in times of great need, and it’s this:

Silence.

During this season of dying, which has felt really close to what I imagine the real thing feels like, I’ve had my share of the [seemingly] silent treatment from God.  Why doesn’t he speak up when I’m crying out?  Why can’t I seem to find him anywhere?

Is he testing me?  Is the silence a part of some sort of lesson?  Perhaps it’s to show me why faith is necessary.

I have a feeling that I’m just not paying attention.

Romans 1:20 says:

For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse.

You see, I really have no excuse for missing out on seeing his power displayed and his nature personified.  For one, He’s everywhere.  I’ve seen his power on display at the Grand Canyon and the ocean.  And I’ve seen glimpses of his nature in my wife’s patience with me(you have no idea), my co-worker’s compassion for those struggling, and Eliud, whom I’ve never even met.

Maybe I should lift my head up and take everything in.  Maybe I should pay closer attention to all of the reminders that are around me.  I feel like the image above conveys what he says to us…

Feel free to look around.  You’ll see me.

Where are you seeing God in your life right now?

image: Sam

What is the one thing, above any other, that God is teaching you right now?

For me, it would be that I am finding out more and more about just how big God really is. 

How about you?

Ready?  Go.

It was one of those weeks last week.

You know, I find stress to be a real downer, and lately I’ve had my fair share of it.   Whether it’s work stress or personal issues, life has made it hard to follow through with my resolutions this year.  Ministry is hard a lot of times.  There have been many days lately where I feel like I have nothing left when I get home.  Nothing for my wife.  Nothing for any friends.

Nothing.

Musically-speaking, I often find comfort in the words of the Robbie Seay Band. I’ve been listening to them for years now, and their stuff keeps getting better and better.  Check out their site for some information on a new album/tour.

This particular song has always been a go-to when I’m feeling down.  It’s the title track of one of their earlier albums, Better Days.  I think the lyrics are worth a look…

Better Days by Robbie Seay

vs-1: First of all, thanks for listening to our song;
we hope this finds you driving in your car
or wherever you are, breathe out and breathe again;
and know that life is hard but it’s worth the breathing
oh listen to me now, the love of loves is waiting for you just to say…

chorus: here come better days, here come better days
better days in a better place i know

vs-2: secondly, i’m all messed up so royally
and i stumbled my way here, but wait oh wait
grace has found me and shaken up my soul
and grace will follow wherever you go
listen to me now, the grace of grace is calling for you just to say….

bridge:  green grass and I am laying in the sunlight of You
and the wind is moving through the trees, ushing You
and the better days You bring; the better places found
feasting at Your table I am overwhelmed
I lift my glass, drink to love that never gave up
clouds pass, fading into memories gone
and all I have to show for life is life and love and peace
what else could there be?

Grace.  How quickly I forget about it.

See, the truth is that I’m a mess.  I always have been.  Whenever life’s problems come my way, I am often paralyzed by fear and a ‘whoa is me’ attitude.  These are a few of the things in my life that need to die.

But the good news is that grace found me somewhere along the way and has followed me from place to place. I don’t deserve it, but that’s why it’s called grace, after all.

God loves us, and he calls us by names that you or I could never call ourselves.  Names like righteous and saints.  And he loves us without requirements.  Scripture says that we should only worry about today, for tomorrow brings enough trouble of its own. So, what are we to do when it feels like three months of tomorrows show up at once? I think the answer is to listen to the grace of grace calling us, just to say….

It’s worth the breathing.

image: sam

My wife and I were talking yesterday about Lent after part one of my toast to death.  She asked a common question:

So, what are you giving up for Lent?

I’ve been asked that question for as long as I’ve known about Lent.  But, I don’t think that I’ve thought about it in such a way as I have this particular season.  As I said yesterday, things just don’t need to be given up.

Things in us need to die.

I long thought of Lent in the past as a progress report of sorts for the first quarter of the year, charting out one’s progress of their New Year’s resolutions.   You know, sort of a “how are you doing so far?” kind of deal.  Are you still working out a month later?  Are you eating better?  Sure, it led to Easter, which provided more clarity.  But, I think I heard more about what people were sacrificing than of Jesus’ death and resurrection.

But, the season of Lent is about death, and ultimately new life.  You see, we cannot raise things from the dead.  Only God can.  But, as long as we just put off certain behaviors and tendencies we can revive them at a later date.  These things need to die, and that can only happen if we ourselves die to them.  And, when we do that it hurts.  The layers go deep, and when they’re peeled away it’s devastating.  It kills us.  But, God raises dead things.  With the same power that raised Jesus on the third day, we are raised again into a new life with him.  Sure, it’s not free from temptation or trials.

But, a free life it is.

Henri Nouwen has this to say about it:

A Prayer for Lent, by Henri Nouwen

How often have I lived through these weeks without paying much attention to penance, fasting, and prayer? How often have I missed the spiritual fruits of the season without even being aware of it?  But how can I ever really celebrate Easter without observing Lent?  How can I rejoice fully in your Resurrection when I have avoided participating in your death?  Yes, Lord, I have to die – with you, through you, and in you – and thus become ready to recognize you when you appear to me in your Resurrection.  There is so much in me that needs to die: false attachments, greed and anger, impatience and stinginess…I see clearly now how little I have died with you, really gone your way and been faithful to it.  O Lord, make this Lenten season different from the other ones.  Let me find you again.  Amen.

A Cry for Mercy:  Prayers from the Genesee; Image Books, 2002

Let this season be different than others.  Perhaps you’re like me and there needs to be a lot of death in your life.  Death from pride, selfishness, fear, anger.  Ask God to peel away the layers that cloud your vision of him.  Really, ask him.  When he does (and he will), ask him to do it every day.  You and I both need it, there’s no question.

But, do we really want it?