I specifically asked God a while back to help me to take risks this year.  Not more risks, but risks in general.

I think I’ve really only taken three in my entire life.

Pathetic.

A new risk was added a few weeks ago.  In the time I’ve had to reflect, I can honestly say that I’m both surprised and glad that I took the risk.  

Years ago I would have dismissed the idea before even considering it.

Thankfully, things can change for someone like me.

And you, too.

A friend of mine, who I’m connected with at work, shared a great story with me just over a year ago.  He is very involved with youth ministry, and one example is a camp in Northern Arizona for kids with disabilities.  He told me the story of a boy who was severely handicapped, and how one part of the camp allowed for these kids to participate in a special ropes course, with a zip-line  at the end.  These guys and girls can participate in this course without the reminder of the disability that so often holds them back from “normal” activities.

The course started out with a series of platforms that you had to step off of and make your way to the next one via the ropes.  Before stepping off of the platform, this young man would freeze with fear.  You know – legs shaking, teeth chattering, the works.  The leaders would ask him, “do you want to come down?”  ”You don’t have to go any farther than you want.”  Eventually, he would take the step off the platform and make his way to the next, only to be overcome by fear again.  The leaders asked the same questions every time, and after about an hour the young man made his way to the end of the course.

My friend said that he asked the boy, “why didn’t you just come down when you got scared?”

He answered, “It was only fear, that’s all.”

That’s how I want to see the risks that God asks me to take.  Is it scary?  Sure it is.  If it’s not scary you’re either not paying attention or dead.  That’s why they call it a risk and not “safe”.  But, you and I must remember that it’s only fear that’s holding us back.  That’s crippling us. 

Sometimes we can’t shake it.  We’re frozen.  There’s seemingly no way out.  But, if we look at God for who he really is and not what we’ve made him, we’ll see an awesome and powerful God who is for us…not against us.  What can fear do to us when we know this?  Nothing.  It can only be fear.  Nothing more, nothing less. 

He’s already overcome it. 

Trusting that he did?  Now that’s a risk right there…

I’m going to be honest, here. I feel that there’s a huge problem today in our worship to God (myself included).

This is especially true in our American culture, I think.

And I’m not just talking about singing, for it’s most certainly not the only way to worship.

The problem, in my opinion, is this:

A lot of us have an extremely low view of God.

If this view of him can change, I believe everything will change. 

Everything. (more…)

This is a picture of my mind lately…

I have to be honest, here – I used to watch “professional” wrestling quite religiously.  The horrible acting, the ridiculous speeches, the leg drops off the top turnbuckle.  I couldn’t get enough of it, knowing full well the whole time that in no way was it realistic.

It was scripted, rehearsed and over-dramatized.

Enter my life, stage left.

I’ve been wrestling with myself and God about a few things lately, and it has left me exhausted.

Anyone relate?

A lot is going on in the old noggin’ lately.  It’s mostly good, though.  A pretty cool door is potentially opening, which is both exciting, risky and stressful.

I have an opportunity to record an EP in Nashville, with Jeremy Casella producing.  I’ve been asked for a while about whether or not I would ever record any of my music, but I honestly didn’t have the confidence in myself to even dream it possible.  It’s amazing what the words of someone outside of your family and friends can do.

I could, quite possibly, be recording the EP (probably six of my songs) in Nashville sometime in the near future.  This has been an increasing desire of mine within the last couple of years, as well as something that folks have asked me for.  I really feel like it’s both the right time to put forth some effort in this area of ministry and perhaps an opportunity of a lifetime.

But doubt creeps in.

Always.

I think about other better ways to spend the money.
I think about how no one will probably want to listen to it.
I think about how I shouldn’t even call myself a musician.
But I’m passionate about it.
But I know that God has gifted me.
I know that He’s stirred a desire in me.
Then I think about how no one will probably listen to it.
That I’ll have a box full of cd’s in my house to remind me of a failure.

It goes on and on.   I’m sure you know the drill.  That is, if you’re anything like myself.

Life.

Not scripted or rehearsed or fake.

This wrestling is real, and it’s taking a toll on me these days.

How about you?  What are you wrestling with lately?

Let me first begin by saying that I will be preaching to myself in this post.
(in case those of you who know me want to remind me to take my own advice.)

We all have passions.  We all have gifts and abilities.  More often that not, these talents directly align with our passions.  Funny how that works…

I’m passionate about music, especially writing it.  I love the creative process of a song coming to life from a simple thought.  While I’m clearly not the best at writing music, I have found that I enjoy it, and the songs themselves don’t sound horrible.  Of course, I’m a little biased when it comes to that.

I’m also passionate about helping the least of these- particularly concerning the issues of human trafficking and extreme poverty.  You can read some earlier posts on these issues by starting at the beginning of this fairly young blog.

I’ve been fortunate to play some of my music in order to raise awareness for the human trafficking problem in Phoenix, which is a much larger problem than people think.  This has caused me to think a lot about how I can use what I’m gifted at to help with the issues that I’m passionate about.  It would make sense to use my gifts that way.

It’s probably the reason I was given the gift in the first place.

You have gifts and passions.  All of you.  And because of that, you all have the potential to be a part of God’s much larger story of redemption on this little planet we live on.  Of course that also means that we get to live a better story as well.

We’re called to.

If you’re afraid to put yourself out there because of fear, I want to encourage you to take that step.  There is much more at stake here than our feelings.  Remember, we’ve been given these talents to use them, not bury them in the ground.

So, I ask you (and me) : What’s your passion?

And, more importantly, what are you (we) doing to invest in them?

Our talents are just as valuable as a million bucks. Sure, if you’ve been blessed with a lot of money, give away.  But, if you’re not a millionaire, give of yourself.  You’re worth more than you’ll ever think.

Folks,we must do something.  There isn’t a lack of need in this world.

We need only to look around.

*NOTE*  Some of you who read this blog are doing some amazing things for the Kingdom of God.  I’d love for you to share what you’re doing as well.  Perhaps there are those that are unaware and would like to partner with you.  Plug away shamelessly in the comments.

image: sam

How long, O Lord?

I need to be honest here…

I hate to wait.

And wouldn’t you know it…God doesn’t.  He is patient and long-suffering.  Slow to anger, even.

Yet somehow I feel like I’m entitled to get answers now from him.  I have so much to learn.

He feels pretty silent these days.  My prayers feel like they bounce off some sort of invisible ceiling lately.  I’ve begun to consider the possibility that my prayer life is not to consist of simply asking him for things.  Rather, I should spend time with him.  I should get to know him more. So, off to his very words I’ve gone.

Luckily, I’m not at a loss for places in scripture where God seemed silent.  I immediately think of Job.  I also go right to David as well.  The Psalms are chocked full of David’s desperate cries to God.

Psalm 13 is one of my favorites, full of such honesty and desperation.  I thought it was a fitting text to meditate on and share during this time of silence.  Take the time to chew on it for a bit.

How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I take counsel in my soul
and have sorrow in my heart all the day?
How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?
Consider and answer me, O LORD my God;
light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death,
lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him,”
lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.
But I have trusted in your steadfast love;
my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
I will sing to the LORD, because he has dealt bountifully with me.

His love is to be trusted.  Salvation is his.  He’s been so good, even in the silence.  A part of my heart is changing, not just stirring, and part of that change has been in the silence.

Maybe you’re not feeling him lately.  It could be a time to let things die in order for restoration, perhaps.  I do know that we all need patience.  I can’t get over how patient he’s been with me, after I’ve blown it time and time (and time) again.

I want to have patience.  I want to trust him.  He’s been good to me.

So I will wait.