“We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.”  - CS Lewis

Today’s a different kind of day.

For one, it’s a new day.  It’s only by grace that I’m even alive to write this, so let me go ahead and acknowledge that right off the bat.

If you’ve followed these Lent posts thus far (I thought about renaming them to ‘Tortured Soul: the series”), I hope that you’ve not gone away from them depressed.  My hope is that you’ve been encouraged and challenged, and perhaps given a new outlook on what it means to participate in the Lenton season. Hang in there.  I don’t want to spoil it all for you, but the end result is….

**SPOILER ALERT**

He is risen.

Yes, He is risen indeed.  Obviously we’ll talk about this next month, but I am reminded of it today.  He is risen today.  Sure, we’ll celebrate it in a magnificent way on Easter Sunday, but for me, focusing on his resurrection today gives me hope.  I was reading Romans 5 yesterday, and I was comforted by these words:

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God.  Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.              - Romans 5:1-5 [NIV]

Hope never disappoints.  Sure, I’ve been struggling the last few weeks.  I hit a low point last weekend (see Monday’s post).  But, God does not leave me there alone.

He hasn’t left you alone either.  So, rejoice with me, wherever you’re at.  Regardless of your circumstances.  Regardless of your struggles.  Remember…

He is good, and today is a new day.

As I’ve asked previously, what are you learning during this season of Lent?  How can I pray for you specifically?

image: sam

I’m super excited about this, folks.

I’ll be tweaking this site on the weekend (hopefully) to a new design.  I’ll be using the Standard Theme, coded by John.  This is some super good stuff if you’re looking for a new site design.  I love how rock-solid the coding is, as well as the clean look.  Hopefully it will also help to get the word out on how folks can find this here blog.  Stay tuned for that…

So, hang with me if this place is down for a few.  I think it’ll be worth it.  Although, there will be new posts before the weekend, so stick around for that, por favor.

I’m learning a lot during this season, both about God and myself.  For that I’m extremely grateful.

And I’m also quite sore, frankly.  It’s been hard to keep posting these Lent posts, but I’m trying to provide an authentic narrative of my experience in participation of Christ’s death.  This has proven to be a trying time.  But, I’m confident that by sharing in our sufferings we can encourage one another.

As I mentioned a while back, when God peels away the layers that cloud our vision of him it’s painful.   These layers run deep in my life, and specifically, I think God is peeling away one in particular:  appearance.

I simply care about what others think.

I have insecurities just like everyone else.  I often struggle with the thought that I’m never taken seriously, mainly because I’m requested to say something funny by others, forcing me (in my mind) to go into performance-mode.  But, my go-to compensatory move when insecure is to always bring humor to the situation.  So, this plays right into an already bad hand.  I am quick-witted and sarcastic.  I used to think this was possibly a spiritual gift…turns out it’s not.  Any time I’m out and go into this mode, whether for the entertainment of others or insecure compensation, I return home depressed.  It’s a vicious cycle that runs me into the ground mentally and emotionally.

But why am I such a slave to this?  Why do I care so much about what others think of me?  I know that my identity is in Christ and not other people.

Or do I?

I am petitioning to God that he would reveal this issue in my life completely.  That he would help me overcome the performance.  Besides, it’s not a performance he’s after from me — it’s relationship.  This is a core issue for me, and I am grateful that he’s showing me that.  Again, when the layers are pulled back it’s painful.  But, what I hope comes from this will be cause for celebration.  I’m trying to start doing that now.

For I know Sunday’s coming.

What are you learning about God and yourself during this season?  How can I pray for you?

image: sam

Got plans for Saturday?

How about going here?  I would encourage you to either get tickets to go if you’re near Nashville or watch online (how cool is that).  And, if you’re able to, donate towards relief efforts in Haiti.  I realize that it’s been long enough now that it may just be a fading memory.  But, please remember the people of Haiti.  There is a lot of work left to do, and they need you and I.

So, take the time to enjoy some good music that’s about something so important, would you?

We’ll hear from CS Lewis next Friday, but this is too good important to pass up.

Have a good weekend.